Enough

I'm a mom. 5 years and some odd months ago when I obtained said appellation, I was also awarded this big heavy medallion that comes with the territory. Intricately etched deep within this glorious pin that was stabbed into my heart there's a huge word. It starts with a W, ends with a Y, and in between there's a vowel, two consonants and a long line of anxiety.

Worry!

And like probably all females of my maternal status, my biggest worry is always that I'm not enough for these sweet rambunctious things who are in my charge.

I'm not present enough, I don't always know how to be gentle enough, I'm not listening enough, I'm not organized enough, I'm not disciplined enough, I don't model enough kindness and compassion, I never have enough time to be everything that they need me to be... Also I don't know enough about airplanes or slaying evil with butter knives to know how to answer all of their detailed questions about those hot topics.  

But then I look out the window and I see them trying to rescue a worm who has presumably lost his way and is suffering in the cold Spring rain. To (now this is totally a wild guess here) the rest of us, it is just a worm. Just. Like you don't get any more decumbent than a worm. Who really even notices worms, much less cares if that spindly little pathetic slimy one drowning in the drive way makes it back to his home in the cold dark world beneath the grass before the frost sets in again?

As I watch them trying to tenderly guide this small uncomprehending, bane-of-the-earth creature back to safety I realize that they understand what it means to care for and respect even the "least of these". Somehow, somewhere along the line, we are getting something right. In spite of my failings, I see them changing their world with compassion, one worm at a time.

I am enough. 

That reality alone is empowering, and perhaps I could learn how to be as gentle with myself as they are to the little lost worm that nobody cares about.