What Life with a 2 Year-Old was Like

Finds a dead bug on the floor. "Oh no Mom! Fix him? The bug broke; he is not working!"

Jimmy and the neighbor's grandaughter make eye contact. For a long moment they stand there sizing each other up. Jimmy broke the awkward silence by raising his orange plastic pistol, pointed it at her and said, "Pcheeou!" and walked away. I found myself using one of those never-thought-I'd-say mom lines, Jimmy, don't shoot the neighbor kids!

Wet willies. Jimmy loves them. Loves giving them, loves receiving them. The only thing he can't stand is when you just give him one. It drives him  nuts. The other ear has to have one too.

Typical argument
   I love you, Jimmy!
   I love you, Mom.
   Awww
   I love you toooo!
   I love you more!
   No, I love you so so so so so much!!!

Watching me put makeup on says approvingly, "Mommy coloring!"

Jimmy and his cousin Kailyn go to their grandparents and always, always want to watch their favorite youtube over and over. Goat kids bouncing around set to holiday tunes.
Me (looing at a book with Jimmy) -- What does the bear say?
Jimmy -- RAAAWR!
Me -- What does the baby goat say?
Jimmy -- (singing) Jimgle bells, jingle bells!

Jimmy loves to peel onions.

Supposed to be cleaning up the toys in his room, Jimmy meanders into the kitchen. Sighs and says, "Huh. Beskipable me."

I have to admit, you do start re-thinking your whole makeup job when the 2 year-old points at your eyebrows and affectionately compliments you on your "Nice 'ustache."

Watching Jimmy put a very apologetic Winston in timeout for barking is hilarious.

Ever clumsy and obsessed with the color of everything, face plants the door. Shaking himself off he keeps running, and calls over his shoulder, "Hey Mom! What color's the door?"

Admiring my valiant efforts at carrying a large heavy basket full of groceries Jimmy sweetly complimented, "Wow. Good boy, Mom!"

"Oh hi, Buzz!" I say to Jimmy, clad in a ToyStory shirt.
"No," he corrected. "THIS is Buzz," pointing at his shirt, then pointing at his nose, "this is JIMMY."

Jimmy do you want to be Colton's mom today?
NO! I want to be Colton's JIMMY!

At his auntie's wedding, Jimmy was sitting at the edge of the dance floor admiring the laser lights. I asked him if he wanted to dance. "No," he replied, "I want to sit in the stars."

While trying to help Jimmy not pee on his shirt while going potty, he got all frustrated with me. "No, Mom! Jimmy can do it! You just.... go look in the mirror!"

Jimmy, do you have to go potty?
No, I have to go fart.

We were talking about birthdays. "Jimmy, you are going to have one next month and you're going to be THREE!" I say, holding up 3 fingers. A short time later I overheard him muttering happily to himself. "And Jimmy is going to be 'W'."

I found Jimmy looking at his reflection in a window, using a black crayon to draw eyebrows, side burns, an 'ustache', and a tiny little triangle beard on his face. Not bad for 60 seconds of my back turned.

Brushing his teeth, he proudly informed me, "I'm gittin' all the bugs out of my teeth, Mom!"

Trying to calm an over-tired, over-dramatic, melting down Jimmy who wanted to go to bed but didn't want to go to bed, I told him "You are a big boy; you're not a baby, you don't need to cry."
"No!" He snapped, "Jimmy is a BIG. BABY."

Jumped into his baby brothers bed and bounced while he sang "Two little monkeys jumping on the bed...!"

Playing at his Grandma's house with all of her awesome toys for kids, Jimmy starts going up stairs. He paused and articulately explained to me, "I will be right back. Don't move. Play with your toys."